Depression SUCKS

I'm in a rut. Not a super deep one (like last year when I quit nursing and all my hormones came crashing in during one of the foggiest years EVER). No, not like that. But I am in one. It always starts during the short cold days (seasonal depression I think they call it), but it's not as cold now and not so short of days, but I'm still there. Yesterday was a bad day. A really, F-ing bad day. Our dog dug into the pen where we had our two (newly purchased) goats, and killed them both. He was proud, I was not. Now we have to sell the dog. He's been in our family before we were a family. 4 years. Jackson will be 3 in July. To say I'm sad is an understatement. The rut is deeper. I agree we need to find a new home for him. It's not the first time he has used his German Shepherd instinct to kill. He took out a calf a year ago. He was banned from the farm after that. He has never hurt us or Jackson, never even growled at us. But the thrill of the chase and the kill is too much. It doesn't work when you need critters to survive and keep your weeds down. So now you know why today depression sucks. I was there before, but not heavy. Today, though it's sunny and nice, and the wind isn't even really blowing, however I feel like watching a movie under a blanket and hiding. But I can't. I have to go coach at a track meet, and be happy. Cheer on my kids (not literally my kid, he's with Dad on the farm), and be productive. Depression SUCKS-- so do ruts. Let's hope I can pull out soon. Spring is here...it's time to be happy.